Freaking Health Update

Met with the neurosurgeon today and the most recent MRI's they did on me showed some abnormalities in my circulatory system.  Long  story short, he thinks there is a good possibility I have a hole in my heart.  Before we can treat the AVM, I have to have an ultrasound on my heart.  :(  Not really the news I was hoping for.  

The good news is...there IS a simple and great plan to treat the AVM once my heart is cleared up.  I also got some new drugs for the pain that so far today are helping me find some relief.  So even though there is an extra obstacle to over come...the finish line is near.  He was very adamant that he can fix me and have me back to my normal self.  BEST NEWS EVER.  I will do whatever it takes to get back to a healthy, happy me.  I know that I am blessed beyond what I deserve.  

There is a song that says "you only get what you give."  I think that is a lie.  I have got WAY more from people than I deserve and way more than I have ever given to them.  My heart is heavy and full at the same time.  I feel unworthy of the kindness and love and blessings that have been given to me yet so extremely grateful for them.  I couldn't do this without them.  It inspires me to get better quick, so I can start paying the love forward.  

Freaking Health

It seriously pains me to be writing this post right now.  I have tried so hard to be so healthy.  I try hard to eat clean and exercise more than regularly since becoming a personal trainer and health has been my main focus the past year and a half.  I decided after my cancer battle that I wasn't going to ever be that weak and decrepit ever again.  I am VERY proud of my body and the changes I have made and I felt better than I ever had in my life.  Sadly, it doesn't always matter what we do or think.  There are just some things completely out of our control.  

I have always had occasional migraines throughout my life.  When I was prego with Kylee they got really bad.  I also had preclampsia with Kylee so that made sense.  The extra high blood pressure enlarges your blood vessels and makes you hurt everywhere.  Sometime in January I started getting migraines daily.  My regular migraine meds weren't helping so I went and saw my family doctor.  He gave me a different prescription but they didn't help at all.  Then he gave me a shot of toradol (HEAVEN) and that helped big time...for about 24 hours.  The migraines were NEVER going away.  If you have had a migraine before, you know how debilitating they can be.  Now imagine never getting relief.  This has been my hell for the past two+ months.  

After a CT scan, followed by multiple MRI's...I was diagnosed with a brain AVM.  Basically it's where a cluster of blood vessels are tangled and causing improper blood flow throughout my brain.  My brain is getting the oxygen it needs, but at the expense of my other blood vessels.  They are extremely enlarged.  The extra pressure on my blood vessels can cause them to burst at any time, causing brain bleeds and strokes.  The picture below is a great diagram of what is going on inside my head.  I am in constant pain...even with major pain pills.  

My doctor has told me it's extremely important everyone in my life knows about my condition and to make sure they know the signs of stroke so they can help me if/when I have one.  The most painful conversation I have ever had is telling my 7 and 5 year-old the signs of stroke and what to do if mommy has one.  I am an independant and private person.  It has been really hard for me to deal with this.  I have had to stop working out completely and must keep my heart rate as low as possible.  I am meeting with the top vascular neurosurgeon in Northern Utah tomorrow and I can't wait to see what he can do to help me.  Vascular Neurosurgeon are hard to come by and it has been a long and painful 3 weeks waiting to get in to see him.  (That was them RUSHING me in.  It usually takes about 6 months to see this dude.) I spend most of my days in my dark bedroom just laying in bed or drugged.  It is not a life I want to lead at all.  It has been pure hell.  I am incredibly blessed with awesome kids who pretty much take care of themselves AND me.  Curtis has stepped way up and not only works nights but takes great care of me, the kids, and the house.  I have amazing family and friends and co-workers who have been there for me every second I've needed them.  There have been so many cards, flowers, messages, meals, favors, blessings and miracles along the way that I am overwhelmed.   

Thanks for all your prayers and good thoughts.  I know they make a difference.  I can feel your love and concern and it is honestly what has helped me get through this stupid ordeal.  I am SO anxious to find some relief from this constant pain in my head and to get back to my normal self again.  It's discouraging to see all my hard work on my body disappear so quickly, but I also know that as soon as I can, I will be back to kicking butt again.  I got this!!!  

ONE WEEK!

Here's an update on the pregnancy...Baby Boy still hasn't made his debut. Today at the doctor I was dilated to a 3 1/2 and 100% effaced, so that was at least some progress. My blood pressure was 117/80 (one of the best yet). I really think it must be all your prayers keeping me and baby so healthy. I'm so thankful and blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I would have never guessed I would make it full term with this pregnancy. My doctor really thinks he'll come any day now, but I'm thinking this child has his daddy's procrastinating spirit and is going to stay in there as long as he can. ;-)

So we may just have to give him a little motivation. If he doesn't decide to come by next Thursday the 24th, I will be induced. A week still sounds like forever, but at least I know there is an end in sight and he'll be here soon. I hope my Uncle Terrell doesn't mind sharing his birthday with his great nephew. The weird thing is no one guessed the 24th. I had lots of guesses for my due date (the 25th) and a lot for my birthday (the 13th), and pretty much every day in between, but no one guessed the 24th. I guess there is still the possibility that he'll hit one of the days in between.

Last night I dreamt my water broke and I was so upset when I woke up and it hadn't. I cried all morning. ;-) I'm just EXTREMELY ready for him to be here.

Update

Just a quick update. We got all moved in thanks to wonderful family and an awesome Elder's Quorum. Special thanks to Craig and Stacy for coming all the way from Idaho to help and of course to both Eisenbarth families and the Holbrook's for all their help. We couldn't have done it without any of you.

Now the fun starts...unpacking and trying to get organized. Which I might add is really hard to find the time or energy when your 34 weeks pregnant and have a 18 month old who likes to make messes and wants mommy's attention. Plus, I'm just tired.

Kylee "graduated" from the crib and is sleeping in her own "big girl" bed (my old daybed). I was really hesitant about letting her sleep in it, but she has done an awesome job, not falling out once yet (knock on wood) and having no problem going (or staying) asleep. She really is such a sweet heart and loves her new room. Once we find the camera (and more importantly, the charger as it is dead) I'll have to post some pictures. It's really cute, if I do say so myself. She's also learned to master the stairs, with no falls yet (again, knock on wood).

Baby boy is growing just like he should and my blood pressure was PERFECT today at my appointment. My doctor was so proud of me. I actually feel really great (other than being extremely tired and the normal uncomfortableness). I think we actually might make it full term with this little guy.

Curtis is working extra hard. He is really far behind on work orders since he no longer has any employees to help him out. He is doing an awesome job though and we're so lucky to have a daddy who is willing to work so hard for us.

That's the update. Hope all is well is your families too. We really love all our friends and family and hope they know it!

Crazy!

Have you ever had a plan totally laid out in your mind and felt really good about it and very confident that it was the right thing to do...and then have it all just completely fall apart or change?

As a lot of you know, we have been waiting for our condo in Eagle Mountain to be built for A LONG TIME! It was scheduled for June of last year, got bumped all the way to February of this year, then they said April, and now they are saying May or June. Needless to say with another baby on the way and the outrageous amount we are paying for rent right now, it has been VERY frustrating to wait for this place to be built. We found this adorable townhome for sell in West Point and thought, what the heck, let's look at it. We fell in love with the 2 car garage, 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, and plenty of room for our little family. It's in a neighborhood we know and love and is VERY close to family and friends we've missed while living in the "south."

So we put an offer on it and got it. We move in the first of March. Because the housing market has dropped and the owners were trying hard for a fast sell, we actually got a really good deal on it. It was built in 2004 and other than needing some real good cleaning (because I have babies and am paranoid) it is in great condition. We have really loved living in Sandy. It is the perfect location for Curtis as he goes everywhere for work and it is very central. But there is nothing in this area in our price range that doesn't need more work then I'm willing to do. Eagle Mountain was exciting as it is all new and growing and lots of families down there, but I know it will be harder to get up and see family in Layton and I've not been able to find a doctor (or hospital) that I love (and I am VERY excited to be able to go back to my old doctor in Layton). Plus not having any babysitters near by can get very hard for parents, and now I'll have many! We'll also be able to get our baby boy's room put together before he comes and I can finally feel like I'm organized and not still living out of boxes and cramped spaces.

I personally think it's a little crazy that we have been waiting for the Eagle Mountain place for so long just to walk away when we are possibly so close to it being finished, but we really felt like this place was meant for us and it was the right thing to do. As you can tell, we're very excited about this move. We will loose the $500 deposit we made to secure our condo spot, but it's worth it to us to be closer to family and have a lot more space, and to be in a place NOW, and not who knows when. Here's a picture of the outside. It's actually A LOT like our old house in Clearfield, except for not right by the train tracks, or in a meth neighborhood, and we don't have to worry about taking care of the lawn or snow removal. :) I'm sure more pictures will come.