Memories

My baby girl will be 4 on Sunday!!! I can't believe how fast time is flying. 4 years ago I was having a baby shower with some of my most favorite co-workers and still some of my greatest friends (although none of us have worked together for over 6 years now) and thinking I still had a whole month before I would get to meet my little girl. Look how huge I was! Although not as "big" as I got with Cannon, I gained so much more actual weight with Kylee. It was all water weight. I was so swollen and miserable (thanks to pre-eclampsia). I was so grateful to be pregnant though and would do it all again in a heartbeat of course.

I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. Since I didn't blog at that time I thought I should probably capture my memories somewhere before I no longer remember them so clearly. I had gone to the doctor for my weekly appointment and she was extremely concerned about my blood pressure. I was already on partial bed-rest but she told me I needed to go on full bed rest and to be more careful than I already was. She gave me 3 warning signs of stroke to watch for. She said if I experienced any of them, to go to the ER right away and that taking it easy and keeping my BP down was my only concern. Curtis and I stopped at the store after the appointment and got Season 1 of Grey's Anatomy so I would have something to do to keep me busy and help pass the time.

I remember just feeling really off. Really weird and uneasy. It was late at night and Curtis had gone to sleep but I just could not sleep. In fact, I really felt like I shouldn't sleep. It was weird. I started watching some episodes of Grey's and around 2 in the morning I just felt even worse, so I woke Curtis up and asked him to give me a blessing. I figured I was just a little freaked out from what the doctor had said and was psyching myself out or something (it didn't help that I was watching a medical drama either I'm sure). Curtis gave me a great blessing and he held me and tried to help me fall asleep. A few second later he was out again and although I did feel more "at peace" I still felt like something was really wrong. Even more than before now. Around 3:30, I got a horrid headache, immediately started throwing up, and had extremely blurred vision. ALL 3 of the things my doctor warned me about. So into the ER we went. I didn't think to take a bag or anything, since I still had 4 weeks to go and all.

When we got to the hospital at 4:00 in the morning and the ER nurse took my BP she sent me right up to Labor and Delivery. When the L&D nurse took my BP she got me checked right in. I figured they were going to administer some IV drugs to help with my BP and monitor my baby but still didn't even think about maybe delivering her. The nurse started my IV and hooked up a bag. I thought it was probably just IV fluid but then I see the writing on the front says pitocin. What the? Um...you're starting my labor? What? Why? Don't I get a say in this? Her response was "sure...here's your choice...you die or you get this baby out of you right now. We are going to start your labor and if you progress quickly enough and don't stroke out on us, everything should be fine. If your BP goes any higher, we'll probably do an emergency c-section to get her out." So there you go...we were having a baby.

Around 8:00 my doctor came in and broke my water. I pretty much slept through all of my labor pains (thanks to my epidural). I was exhausted since I hadn't slept at all. Around 1:00 PM I woke up to a nurse checking me and letting me know I was ready to push. I geared up and pushed a couple times and at 1:21 PM my Kylee was officially born. She was SO little. 5lbs 13 oz but SO long 21 1/2 inches. She was literally skin and bones. My BP spiked when I delivered her and I started to shake uncontrollably. They brought her to me and I was shaking so bad I didn't even dare hold her. My vision was so blurry I couldn't even really see her either. I just kissed her forehead and they took her off to the NICU since she was so early.

Sadly, my BP still didn't want to come down and they kept me in Labor & Delivery for observation. I was too unstable to move or go see Kylee in the NICU and that broke my heart. Curtis would bring me pictures of her and friends and family were starting to come by to see her and I hated that I didn't have a baby to show off. Curtis would take them each one at a time to go see her but it was so hard for me. Luckily, my Kylee girl has been one tough fighting little chick from the start and after 8 hours of observation just because she was so early, they brought her into me around 10:00 that night. She was fine with no complications at all. I held her and couldn't believe I had a baby girl. She was so little and so beautiful.

I spent a whole week in the hospital recovering...trying to get my BP under control. I had a very mild stroke and at one time had such low BP that I "crashed" and freaked the cleaning lady out. It was a hard thing and I will never be the same and THANK HEAVENS! I am thankful everyday for it. Kylee is seriously one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Somethings about that day I'll never forget:

• Curtis! He was awesome and so wonderful and such a proud dad. It was a tramatic thing to watch and at one point he thought he was going to lose me and I will forever cherish the love he gave me that day. He has been a great dad from day one. Wow! I had forgot how great he really was that day until just now.
• Emilee and My parents being there. It may sound weird to some of you, but I loved having my family with me during delivery. Emilee got Kylee's footprint on her hand and i think that they bonded from that moment.
• Laughing so hard I peed, which is not that hard to do right after having a baby. I was walking to the bathroom and Curtis made me laugh and it was all over.
• The flowers from my work. I have never got such pretty flowers in my life. They were the most amazing I've ever seen.
• Travis and Ranae visiting right after I "crashed." MY niece and nephew were freaked out to see all the nurses around me and being told they pretty much just revived me didn't help calm their fears.
• The love I felt. The best feeling in the world!!!